It’s Not Always Obvious When a Relationship Turns Abusive
I found it hard to accept there was abuse going on
If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1–800–799–7233. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.
I took an abuse check quiz after I left my marriage. I lied on half of the questions — “yes, my partner respects my thoughts and feelings” — and my score was still well over the bar for an abusive relationship. I took it again, answering more questions incorrectly. Still abusive.
I took another one. And another one. Each one came out the same — this was not a healthy relationship.
One of the tests said this in the preamble:
Some partners, although very unpleasant to be around, simply lack the skills to control their anger and behave with kindness, sensitivity, and friendship, but are not abusers.
Emotional abusers are not only selfish, unloving, and angry, they ALSO seek to control their partner. — Go Smart Life
And that’s where I struggled. I couldn’t read his mind. I had no idea if he wanted control or if he simply lacked the skills to be a nice person. He suffered from mental health issues and, at the time…
